Fall 2000

Laugh out loud at “A Husband of Valor.” Israeli law protects women from sex trafficking. The power of Lillian Hellman’s “Julia.” How to diversify a synagogue. The natural history of divorce.

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In This Issue

Lilith Feature

“Let My Husband Die”

Lilith Feature

Life & Death, Orphanages & Escapes, Rescues & Friendship

The stuff all good kids' books are made of

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What It Means


Advance directive: Describes two kinds of legal documents, living wills and medical powers of attorney. These are papers which allow a person to give instructions about future medical care in case he or she becomes unable to participate in medical decisions because of serious illness or incapacity. Each state regulates the use of advance directives... Read more »

Where to Turn


Aging with DignityAttn: Paul MalleyP.O. Box 1661Tallahassee, FL 32302(888) 5-WISHESwww.agingwithdignity.orgOffers “Five Wishes” advance directive form, which can be downloaded. Honored in 33 states and the District of Columbia. Americans for Better Care of the Dying4125 Albemarle Street NWSuite 210Washington, DC 20016(202) 895-9485www.abcd-caring.orgDoes public advocacy on patient care, policy and regulatory issues; is a good source... Read more »

What to Do


How can you make your own wishes known when you might not be able to communicate them in a time of medical crisis? Should you write them down now, while you’re still sentient? Tell a friend, a relative, your partner, your doctor? Experts answer: All of the above. When writing an “advance directive,” be cautious... Read more »

Ties That Bind


A psychiatrist joins the chevra kadisha and finds herself preparing a friend's body for the grave.

Julia Revisited


Coming out as a Jew and a lesbian watching Lillian Hellman's classic story on the big screen



A shift occursafter all these years.The copper sand onthe flat page of the beachdoes not succumb to tidalpull. The gray-eyed wolfnoses in the snow forblood. Old rituals do notmake sense. What is needed nowis precarious as a lone sunfishin an ancient ocean, relentlessas the words that fly from my mindto their perch on the screen.

Still Life with Poodles


It’s midnight, and we think the party is over. My father loosens his tie, unbuttons his collar and leans back into the den couch. “That was lovely,” he says to me. “Are you happy with it?” My mother blinks and smiles at me. She has put on her best, dinner for fifty—family, old friends, new acquaintances.... Read more »

My First Aliyah


Wherein a grown woman caught without a hankie in the web of her own memories, cries her eyes out. 

A Natural History of Divorce


IMAGINE A PROPELLER. Imagine it implanted in your chest, held in place by a nail shot through your sternum. Memories make it turn—memories of family gatherings, washing dishes at the kitchen sink while kids watch The Simpsons, reading Where the Wild Things Are while husband watches the news. Memories of a home. Each time a memory surfaces—(that... Read more »

A Husband of Valor


A husband of valor who canfind him? Because his price is greaterthan sapphires. He Causeth his wife to safelytrust in him, He Doeth her good andnot evil. Every unclean thing doth hegather and make clean again. Into whites and colors hesorteth it; He causeth not the gooddamask tablecloth tobecome pink, Nor doth he cause woolensweaters... Read more »

Ladies’ Day at the Israeli Consulate


In a post-feminist tableau at the Israeli Consulate, the press and invited guests were treated to unwitting self-parody by the males and some less-than-sisterly stabs from the General’s daughter at the Israel Consulate in New York in June. The Consulate was showing off the distinguished group of women who had been chosen to represent Israel... Read more »

Equality Soldiers on in Israel


The Knesset passes three revolutionary laws protecting women from sex trafficking, discrimination and harassment...And in New York, women are "honored" at the Israeli consulate.

The Promise


With the second drink, at the restaurant,holding hands on the bare tablewe are at it again, renewing our promiseto kill each other. You are drinking gin,night-blue juniper berrydissolving in your body, I am drinking Fume,chewing its fragrant dirt and smoke, we aretaking on earth, we are part soil already,and always, wherever we are, we are... Read more »

A Prayer of Trust


Sometimes we must make the difficult decision of removing our loved one from life support, either in keeping with end-of-life wishes, or because his or her brain has ceased to function. Navah Harlow, a patient advocate in New York City, wrote the following prayer for children to say when they give the order to turn... Read more »

It Helps to Be a Feminist


If you’re a rabbi trying to open up your synagogue to Jews with diverse needs, feminist forbears in the pulpit (or on the ground) show how to succeed at changemaking.

When Jewish Women Care for Others


New legal, social and very personal issues come into play. Here’s some guidance.

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