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Ma

If you look good, you feel good.

If you look good, you feel good.

Be nice to your father, he only wants attention.

Men are like babies, you just have to humor them.

Some things you have to grit your teeth and bear, like high heels and male gynecologists.

Don’t walk like a duck, point your toes straight ahead.

Practice holding your stomach in, eventually it becomes automatic.

I told your sister if she stopped biting her nails, I’d buy her a ruby ring.

You can build an entire wardrobe around black and white.

If you look good, you feel good.

Marry a Jewish boy, he’ll get you a maid.

The glass is either half-empty or half-full.

If you see something you like when you’re shopping, buy it in more than one color.

Stop twiddling your hair.

Take your elbows off the table.

Stand up straight, you’re slouching.

You’re eating another one of those?

If I were you, I’d go to law school, then you’d really have a profession to fall back on.

I told your sister if she stopped biting her nails, I’d buy her a ruby ring.

You have good nails like me, your sister’s are stubby like your father’s.

Don’t worry, anyone can get married.

If all your clothes are black and white, it’s easy to mix and match.

You don’t have to stand in front of the closet in the mornings, wondering what to put on.

My mother said if I married your father, I’d end up scrubbing floors. She said my sister would be waltzing down Park Avenue wearing a mink.

Stand up straight.

Take your fingers out of your mouth.

Don’t eat another one of those.

Men are like babies, you just have to humor them.

Be nice to your father, he only wants attention.

If I were you, I’d go to law school, that way you’ll always be able to take care of yourself.

Who ate all the Oreos?

Hold your stomach in long enough, pretty soon you won’t even feel it.

Point your toes straight ahead, don’t walk like a duck.

Black is always slimming.

You can build an entire wardrobe around black and white.

If you look good, you feel good.

Alison Seevak is a poet and teacher living in the San Francisco Bay Area.