One of the unexpected consequences of the story on elderly Jewish women (page 6) was the emotional resonance it had for LILITH’s staff. We range in age from mid-twenties to mid-forties, and each of us has had different experiences with aging relatives. Yet none of us was comfortable discussing the topic, and we all reported very vivid afterthoughts or dreams about our own old age in the wake of the anxieties Paula Gantz’s article aroused: Who will care for us? Will we become shopping-bag ladies? Sociologist Pauline Bart has suggested that one reason Jewish parents don’t want to live with their adult children is that they fear putting that relationship to a test it might not pass.
Our own feelings are, we know, shared by many women who push off into some vague future any thoughts of growing older. And for those of us who see our mothers aging, and who must deal for the first time with our roles as adult daughters, the conflicts are painful indeed. One woman said, “I went home and for the first time my husband and I talked about what to do as our parents age. The article stirred up fears in me I had never been willing to address before.”
Many LILITH readers tell us how much they liked a particular article, followed by the words “and I Xeroxed copies.” While it is heartwarming to learn that LILITH articles receive wide circulation, we must point out two things about this copying: it is both illegal and unethical.
Illegal: LILITH articles are copyrighted. Photocopying LILITH is a violation of the copyright laws.
Unethical: Friends and colleagues who receive articles—or entire sections, such as the Egalitarian Hagada—are spared the necessity of buying the magazine. Therefore, LILITH loses $3, for each copy you send to somebody, no matter how deserving the recipient. At a time when every dollar counts to sustain the magazine, photocopying its contents constitutes sabotage. Please don’t do it.
To make the virtue sweeter, we have created a special bargain rate for the readers who want 10 or more copies of the Egalitarian Hagada (in issue #9). That issue—with the complete Passover hagada as a special pull-out section—is available at one-third off the regular price. For 10 or more copies, send $2 per copy (plus $3 delivery charge) to Hagada, LILITH, 250 W. 57th St., NYC 10019.