Coming-Out Stories, the Talmud’s POV on Gender, New Rituals, and More

The Lilith archive includes first-person coming-out stories, memoirs of “crossroads” experiences, the Talmud’s surprising POV on gender identity, and new rituals, ceremonies, and liturgies. 
 
Dive in!

Why We’re Not Getting Married 
by Martha Ackelsberg and Judith Plaskow

Fall 2004
“We fully believe that gays and lesbians should have the right to marry, and we celebrate the fact that a significant barrier to our full citizenship has fallen. But we’re not getting married. “

Coming Out in the Orthodox World: Our Lesbian Wedding
by Tamar A. Prager

Summer 2006
Here’s how one lesbian couple—wanting the blessings both of their parents and of Jewish tradition—melded Judaism and their gay identity.

What’s a Nice Jewish Girl Like Me Doing in a Man’s Body?
by Joy Ladin

Winter 2009-2010
The complicated story of becoming a woman gives a whole new dimension to Rabbi Hillel’s famous creed, “If I am not for myself, who will be for me?”

What to Call the Rabbi’s Lesbian Partner?
Fall 2012
by Mel Weiss
“I’d thought once that the issue of what to call myself as a grown-up would be settled once I discovered the word ‘Ms.'”

“Coming Out” in the Jewish Family
by Carla Cantor

Summer 1989
As many lesbians discover, being true to oneself has a price… Jewish families have both a harder—and an easier—time accepting gay children.

Gay Rights are a Natural Extension of Jewish Feminism
by Alice Sparberg Alexiou

Spring 2005
“This is the idea that I grew up with: that Judaism should be fully accessible to all of us.”

Being Out as a Jew in Lesbian Circles
by Melanie Weiss

Summer 2006
In some settings, it’s more acceptable to be gay than to be Jewish. 

Two Lesbian Women and Their Pretty Straight Wedding 
by Susan Sapiro

Winter 1997-1998
What distinguished this ceremony from many other gay and lesbian weddings is that Michelle and Aimee are halachically committed Jews.

Transgender Jews: A Special Section
On gender in Eden, the Talmud’s 7 genders, the rituals and policies of transgender Jews, and how synagogues can become more comfortable spaces for trans people.

Gender in Genesis by Gwynn Kessler
What the Talmud Says about Gender Ambiguity by Alana Suskin
In the Image of God by Danya Ruttenberg
Shul Matters by Micah Bazant
“Today I am a Man” Takes on New Meaning by Danya Ruttenberg