Seth MacFarlane opened the night as most hosts do, calling out nominees and talking about this years films. On Django Unchained he said, “This is a story about man fighting to get back his woman who as been subjected to unthinkable violence, or as Chris Brown and Rihanna call it – a date movie.” Apparently you CAN make a Tarantino movie more offensive.
We saw your boobs
An entire song, dance and chorus dedicated to seeing actress’ boobs. Because that is what is significant about their work.
Quevenzhane Wallis is almost too old for George Clooney
This ‘joke’ was directed more at George Clooney dating young women than at the always-sassy and talented NINE YEAR OLD Quevenzhane Wallis, but it is still a joke that sexualizes a 9 year old.
All black people look the same
MacFarlane explained Flight using puppets (just go with it) and when William Shatner as Captain Kirk (again, just go with it) told him “In this day and age, you can’t do black-hand any more!” Macfarlane’s response was: What? I love Denzel Washington! He has a great sense of humor, I mean, he did all those Nutty Professor movies…
Related racism: Macfarlane asked Daniel Day Lewis “If you bumped into Don Cheadle on the studio lot, did you try and free him?
The Kardashians have facial hair
Untrue and irrelevant. Moving on…
Women never let anything go
Zero Dark Thirty is a movie about a woman’s 12 year vendetta to find Osama Bin Laden which showcases “a woman’s innate ability to never ever let anything go.”