Hideous Kinky

The other night, a friend and I went to a reading at the East Village’s cozy KGB Bar, part of the KinkyJews
reading series (KinkyJews bills itself as “the next generation of Jewish kinksters”). It was pretty packed. The lights were turned way down, and there were condoms with the “KinkyJews” logo sticker on them scattered across the tables and the bar. There were also slim wooden paddles emblazoned with the KinkyJews URL. Yeah, woo, kinky!

The reading was decidedly unsexy, too self-conscious to be much more than yet another erotic reading series (and New York has plenty), this time for a specific demographic. Even after listening to six readers, I’m not sure what it is that separates kinky Jews from any other group of vaguely artsy people who like their happy hour(s) sexually charged. The readers didn’t seem to be sure, either. More than one paused after their story mentioned a bialy or something similarly symbolic, saying something to the effect of “ha ha, that’s the Jewish part.” Sure, the readers themselves were all Jewish – the organizer told the audience that KinkyJews welcomes all kinds of Jews, and all kinds of kinks – but I’m not sure why kinky Jews need their own space. Unless the hope is that bringing together kinky Jews will result in kinky Jewish couplings (and isn’t it always?). Also: one of the advantages to being Jewish is that you have lots of venues like this in which to promote your work, as long as you’re willing to do so under the Jewish
umbrella.

There were some cool stories: Will Heinrich read his hilariously understated “Stalin’s Mustache,”, Margot Leitman had a funny piece about mistakenly believing that she was pregnant after she, as a 7th grader, made out with a boy in a vacant lot (desperate, she turned to the Tampax helpline for answers). There was a generic story about masturbation, a stunningly unfunny account of visiting a sex club, a quick tirade about playing strip dreidel, and Sam J. Miller’sdependably provocative short story “Auschwitz Blowjob.”

Aside from the continuing reading series (the next installment of which will be back at KGB on May 22nd), KinkyJews are hosting a Purim Striptease Extravaganza later this month (“Come revel in post-Purim merriment as we imbue ourselves with the spirit of King Achashverosh’s grand striptease feast”), and their Third Annual Kinky Seder in May: “While maintaining key elements of tradition…we have a humor and hedonism infused chocolate themed Seder with four cups of chocolate milk, chocolate covered matzah, Hillil S’mores, and more. Have a wild time with the search for the chametz kit (candle, feather and wooden spoon), Passover erotica, maggid show and tell, re-enactments [of] slavery and redemption, floggings a-plenty, new friends and fun!”

I dunno. I’m not denying anyone their kinks, but this sounds sorta like the kind of thing that was supposed to entice us to join the Temple
youth group as teenagers.

Interestingly, the seder is $30 for couples (of any gender) to attend, $25 for single men, and only $10 for women and students under 25. This seems to say a lot about the general make-up of the KinkyJews, and what kind of people are missing and therefore greatly desired (hint: people with vaginas). Or maybe they’re just compensating for the wage gap.

— Eryn Loeb