Susan Weidman Schneider and Ilana Kramer

from “They Say ‘It’s Not Sex!’”

But experts call it “an oral sex epidemic.” What do Jewish teen girls think is really going on during those overheated bat and bar mitzvah parties? [Winter 2003–04] 

When “Sex in the City” features a bat mitzvah party where the precocious 13-year-old girls talk about performing oral sex on the guys “to be popular,” we’re tempted to blow it off, as it were. After all, this is television, not real life. But the episode in question spotlights a practice Lilith has been hear- ing about for years from parents, educators, counselors and adolescent girls themselves. Unbidden, they have spoken to Lilith about the prevalence of oral sex among young teens —at parties, on school grounds, at camp, and at the back of the bus….No one is suggesting, even for a moment, that Jewish teens are leading the oral sex revolution. But they may have earlier and more frequent opportunities for sexual contact in a supercharged social milieu than their non-Jewish peers. The rush of elaborate parties at age 13 and younger —parties which may include unsupervised bus rides to and from the party venue—means that there is a context, repeated almost every week in season, for getting it together.

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